Our hope is in Yahweh! Our strength is in Yahweh! The hope of our marriages is in Yahweh, the enablement for our marriages to be blissful and happy is only in Yahweh. It is not of him that willeth, it is not of him that runneth, it is of the Lord that showeth mercy.
And so Father this morning we have come, because of what You are doing in this season; You are interested in our homes and our marriages in this season, and we have come to place our homes and marriages before Your throne of mercy this morning and we are saying Father, our hope, our trust, our confidence is only in You because You are the Originator of marriage and You are the One that can help our marriages to survive and to thrive, Father, take over our homes in the name of Jesus.
For the youths and the singles who are waiting to be married, let today be the starting point of their marital journey in the name of Jesus. For those of us who are married and our marriages are experiencing storms, I command peace, be still, in the name of Jesus. For as many homes that are already broken, let there be a restoration today in the name of Jesus. No matter for how long that had been the separation, Father You can bring back that which has been lost, because that is what You can do, Father I pray today, let there be a restoration in the name of Jesus.
And Father I pray that in this service this morning, You will meet us at the very point of our expectation in the name of Jesus; thank You our Father and our God, in Jesus mighty name we have prayed.
Indeed, our hope is in Yahweh, our trust is in Yahweh, and I know that as we put our trust and hope in Him, we will not be put to shame in Jesus mighty name.
I want to appreciate our father in the Lord, the PICP for this opportunity, and I want to give all the glory to God for a time like this. The topic we are going to be speaking on this morning is Marital Bliss at a Time Like This; is it possible to achieve marital bliss, to have marriage as it was in the time of old? In the time of old, God originated marriage, and Bible tells us that Adam and his wife, Eve, were in the garden and they were not ashamed, there was no shame in their relationship, there was no hide-and-seek in their relationship, there was no deception in their relationship, everything was plain before them, it was before the fall.
After the fall of man, when sin came, sin also came into marriage and that is why many marriages are not as it was in the time of old, why? Because of the sin and Adamic nature, but I’m believing God this morning that we will go back to marriage as it was in the time of old in the name of Jesus.
If you notice, we have been having these topics on marriage for a while; in the Sunday school, I think today will be the third lesson we’ll be having on marriage, today’s lesson is also on marriage, yesterday we had a seminar also on marriage, why are we having all these interventions on marriage? It is because God is interested in our homes and marriages, because it is from the marriage that we produce children and one of the reasons for marriage is that we produce Godly seeds for God.
When two of us marry in the Lord, through us we produce children; God is counting on us to produce Godly seeds for their generation; the generation of our children, God is looking for Godly seeds for those generations and that is why marriage is very dear to the heart of God, and I pray this morning, God will help us in the shortness of time to go through as much as I can, we cannot exhaust this topic but God will help us to touch what is really important this morning in the name of Jesus.
I’ll read from Matthew 19: 3 – 6, “The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? (For any reason at all, can I just divorce my wife?) 4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder”. Praise the Lord!
You can see the words I read, these are the words of Jesus Christ He read, He says at the beginning it was not so from the very beginning, the One who made them made them male and female, they are one flesh, and so what God joined together, let no man put asunder including the couple themselves, they are not to put asunder, God will help us in Jesus mighty name.
So we are looking at the topic, Marital Bliss at a Time Like This; at a time when divorce is so rampant and prevalent, at a time when people put away their spouses for any reason, at a time when marriages are being patterned after what we see on social media, at a time when there is so much conflict – personal conflict and marital conflict and what is happening in the society is also happening in the marriages, so is marital bliss achievable? Is marital bliss possible?
Some people even say marriage is a scam; some people say marriage is a trap, nobody should come and put handcuff on my hand, why? Because Bible says what God has joined together, let no man put asunder, because God says I hate divorce. God hates divorce, so because of that some young people say marriage na scam or marriage is a trap, I don’t want anybody to trap me but no, marriage is not a scam, marriage is not a trap because God originated marriage and when God originates something, then He has the best of intentions for us.
And that was why God told Adam at that very beginning, Adam was not looking for a wife, he was a man of vision, he was a very hardworking man, he was naming the animals in the garden, keeping the Garden of Eden neat and tidy, he did not think of a wife at all, but God in His own wisdom said it is not good for a man to be alone, it’s not good for this man to be alone. The animals were in pairs – the dogs, the cattle were in pairs but for Adam, he was all alone and God said it is not good, I want to be good, so I will make a helpmeet for him, a helper, a companion, somebody he can speak to, somebody he can communicate with, I will make that helpmeet for him.
God is the originator of marriage, so marriage is good, marriage is honorable, marriage is beautiful, marriage is blissful, marriage can be blissful, praise the Lord!
I want to thank God for my own marriage; there is no perfect marriage, if anyone wants to deceive you, they would say everything is rosy, you know by the time you come to the altar in your white gown and you say I do, it’s good, but by the time you are leaving this place, you have to learn how to adjust because marriage is not a destination, it is a journey and in that journey, there will be ups and there will be downs, but have that intention from the beginning that this my marriage is going to work, our marriages will work in the name of Jesus.
In the olden days, people used to have arranged marriages, is that not so? They would send a picture of the woman to the man, he’d say okay, I like this one; the parents would be the ones to make the choice, they would look at the family background, they would look at the pedigree, they would look at the values, we have that example in the Bible in the story of Isaac and Rebecca; it was not Isaac that went to look for Rebecca, but it was arranged.
These days, the young people are choosing for themselves which is very good and that is biblical, we can choose for ourselves but the choice that we make determines whether we’ll have marital bliss or not. So marital bliss starts from the point of choice, so when you don’t choose right, when you don’t choose the one that you can agree with, Amos 3: 3 says can two walk together except they agree? So at the point of choice, if you don’t choose right, that is a recipe for not having marital bliss.
So for young people, I’m not going into the choice, that is not my topic this morning, the only thing I want to mention about choice and this is for all of us, in making choice, even before you get to the point of making your choice, as a person, as a man, as a woman, we all have a past, we all have where we are coming from, we all have different backgrounds, we have different experiences in life, but both of us just decide we want to walk this journey together, but some people because of their past, what happened in their past, the pain in their past, the disappointments, the abuse – when I’m talking of abuse now, some have gone through sexual abuse as children, some have gone through seeing mummy and daddy fighting every day, they are already traumatized, and so some people have not healed from all the emotional baggage that they have been carrying, and when you carry that emotional baggage into marriage, the man or the woman you marry who is not the cause of your past will be the one that you’ll be reacting to.
And so the first thing first is that we need to heal first from our past. Today in the youth class, we’ll be talking about ‘Yesterday’, let yesterday be in the yesterday, live for the moment. Like we said in the workers meeting this morning, be present now. What is now is that you are going on a journey with this man or this woman, let the past be in the past; Bible says if any man be in Christ, he’s a new creature, old things are passed away, let everything become new, 2nd Corinthians 5: 17.
So what am I saying? I’m saying in the journey to attain marital bliss, let us make preparation, let us bring all our sorrows, our pain to the Lord, let us heal from our wounds of the past, then you can be free to love again, you can be free in marriage and the Almighty God will makes our homes to be blissful in the name of Jesus.
Another thing I want to say as we prepare for marriage is that you have been forgiven, so forgive yourself. Maybe you have a past, we all have a past; maybe your past was a past of sin, maybe your past was a past of sexual immorality, whether it was a past of drunkenness, but you have come to the Lord Jesus Christ, God says I remember your past no more, I’ve forgiven you and I’ve forgiven your past, so you need to forgive yourself, but sometimes people don’t forgive themselves and so they bring their past into the present into their marriage.
So they have from the beginning a low self-esteem, who will marry me? This man cannot love me, if this man should know what I’ve done in my life, he will run, and so there is a lot of baggage that we are bringing to the marital table. I pray that even as God has forgiven your past, you are forgiven in the name of Jesus.
Number three (for the young people), do not ignore the red flags. The person that you are having a relationship with, (whether the man or the woman), like I said, open your eyes. During courtship, people put on their best behavior, is that not so? During courtship, I want to impress you, so that is my best behavior, so if my best behavior is showing that you are somebody that can give me a slap, you are somebody that is stingy, you are somebody that has no values, you are somebody that can abuse your mother, I come to your house I see how you talk to your siblings, I come to your house I see how you relate with your father and mother, it’s a red flag, it’s telling me that this man or this woman has no values.
So don’t ignore the red flags, but the young people think they are the Holy Spirit, they think I will change him, when we marry I will change him, hallelujah! The only Person that can change anyone is God, so let that person change first, you also change, let the Holy Spirit change us, even those of us who are married, the Holy Spirit is still changing us, the Holy Spirit is still working on us but don’t ignore the red flags, because when you ignore all those things that you are seeing now and you think miracle will happen at the altar, there is no miracle that happens at this altar, the only miracle that happens here is the two shall become one flesh, but the man that came to the altar, the woman that came to the altar are the two people going back, is that not so?
It means before you come to the altar, let God work on you, let God work on me so that when we come to the altar, we are going back with one set of values, we are believing God for a very glorious future, and that future shall be possible for us in the name of Jesus.
So for the young people, marriage is not a scam, work on yourself, let God work on us and shine your eyes. Tell yourself, ‘shine your eyes’. You know they say love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener; you’ll say I have goose pimples, I’m feeling somehow, it’s very good, love is very beautiful but marriage is an eye-opener, the Lord will help is in Jesus mighty name.
Marital bliss at a time like this, let’s look at Matthew 7: 24 – 27, I’m now talking to the married, we want to look at some things that we need to do as married people to sustain and have marital bliss; (Jesus is the One speaking) “Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: 25 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.
26 And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: 27 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it”. Praise the Lord!
Surely, the floods will come in marriage, the winds will blow, storms will come, challenges will come, just like in every other relationship, it’s not ‘if’, it is ‘when’, when the storms come, when the winds blow, it is only the house and the marriage that is built upon the rock that will stand the test of time, and who is the Rock? The Rock is Jesus Christ and Jesus said not only am I the Rock, but he who hears My words, he who follows the biblical truth that has been set in the word of God and you abide by them, then you are very wise, then it means that your house, your home is built upon the rock.
I’m going to look at some things briefly that Jesus Christ said that relates to marriage and I pray that we will have understanding in Jesus name.
Matthew 5: 27 – 32, one of the things that cause marriages to have cracks and to break is adultery. And Jesus said, “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: 28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart”. Adultery – they came to Jesus, is it lawful for man to put away his wife for any reason? Jesus said no, it was not so from the beginning, but because of the hardness of your heart, Moses said you can put away your wife for the reason of adultery, but even in adultery you can forgive, is it possible to forgive adultery?
I find that women forgive the men; if a man commits adultery and he says I’m sorry, the woman forgives, but if the woman commits adultery … praise the Lord! It should be both ways, it is because of the hardness of our hearts that we are not willing to forgive, but it is possible to forgive. So one of the reasons marriages crack and break is because of marriage bed that is defiled, may our marriage beds not be defiled in Jesus name.
Number two, Matthew 5: 5, we are looking at building our marriages on solid rock; Jesus is still speaking, He says blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth, who are the meek in the context of marriage? The meek are those who are gentle, considerate, compassionate, warm, humble. Meekness is not the same as weakness; somebody who has the power to enforce discipline but withholds it for the sake of peace, that person is a meek man.
So the fact that your wife has done something wrong, your husband has done something terrible and you can make the choice to tear the roof down, you can make the choice to shout and be angry but you decide to be quiet, it’s not a sign of weakness, it shows that you are a meek person, and Jesus says when you are meek, you will not only inherit the earth, you will also inherit your marriage. So a template for marital bliss is for us to be meek and for us to be gentle, praise the Lord!
Number three, Matthew 7: 3 -5, “And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye. Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye”? What is Jesus saying here? Blame game, it’s easy for me to blame you, point a finger, but when I point a finger at you, the remaining are pointing to me.
Jesus is saying why do you see the mistakes of your spouse, meanwhile you have greater mistakes, why don’t you correct yourself first and then you’ll be able to correct the other person. What this is also saying is that nobody is perfect, there is a little fault in your wife, in your husband, but you have the greater fault and you don’t see your own fault, you only see the fault of your spouse. Jesus is telling you that is not how to live, first remove your own spec and then you’ll be able to correct the other person, praise the Lord!
So for marital bliss to happen in our marriages, let us self examine, let me examine myself, let me correct myself and then I will be able to pray and say Father, this my husband, this my wife, this and this character are not making the home to be happy, please help us so that our home can be happy again.
Let’s look at Romans 12: 18, it says “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men”, and I know it is possible, as far as you are concerned, you will be intentional that I will keep the peace; I know this man is looking for trouble today, the way he woke up this morning I’m sensing trouble, you’ll say if it be possible, as far as I am concerned, this woman is not going to find my trouble today, I don’t have her time, I’m not going to fight with her, I see that she’s getting ready for a battle but today I’m going to be at peace.
Be intentional, you can read her body language, you can know when somebody is spoiling for a fight and you’ll determine today is not the day, I’m not fighting today, there’s no fight today, why? You make a determination, as far as I am concerned, I’m going to live in peace, praise the Lord!
Number four, Matthew 5: 21 – 22, you can see that I’m taking the teachings of Jesus in this message, “Ye have heard that it was said of them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: 22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire”. Praise the Lord!
What is Jesus saying here in relation to marriage? Jesus is saying that we should watch our anger, we should watch what we say, don’t live in anger in your home, guard your home from outburst of anger, name calling. It says when you call your wife a fool, ‘you are a bloody fool’, Jesus is saying you are in danger of hell fire because those words should not even come out of the mouth of a Christian talk less of the other things that we say to our spouses which I don’t want to mention on this altar.
Jesus is saying when you say such things to your husband, to your wife, not only are you bringing trouble to your home, you have an issue with Me, you are in danger of going to hell fire because such words should not proceed from the mouth of somebody that is going to heaven.
I always say this that marriage will not send me to hell fire, tell yourself marriage will not send me to hell fire, why? Because in marriage, there’s bitterness, unforgiveness, resentment, anger, malice, slander, all those things that Bible tells us in Galatians 5 that all those who do these things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
So if I do all these things because I’m married, God is not looking at marriage, God is looking at me as a person, am I qualified for heaven? Because I’m married, I can do anything, live lawless and say because of marriage and think I will make heaven, no. So Jesus is saying when you say you fool, it’s even as serious as that, in other words, let us watch what we say, don’t let us react in anger, be temperate, don’t be easily provoked, don’t be easily angered, praise the Lord!
Number five, I know it’s not Jesus that said this one but it’s just a combination of everything that Jesus taught us. Don’t be a narcissist. Who is a narcissist? A narcissist is somebody who is manipulative; the person that will tell you I don’t want you to talk to your father again, don’t talk to your mother, only me and you, manipulate you, manipulate everything around you.
Somebody who is self-centered, somebody who is difficult to live with, you can never do anything to please that person. I remember many years ago in marriage counseling, there was a certain young lady that had issues with her husband; so I said when he’s talking and talking, just keep quiet, don’t argue with him, just keep the peace. Next time she came and said mummy, that advice did not work, I said what happened? She said when he talked and talked, I didn’t answer; he said ehn ehn, so you have seen radio, I’m a radio, I’m talking without response, another slap. God will help us in Jesus name.
Somebody who is difficult to live with, somebody who is controlling, just want to control; somebody who lacks empathy; when you are sick, the person will say so I will not eat because you are sick, so there’s no food in this house because you are sick, abeg my friend, go and give me my food; somebody who overreacts when corrected, he doesn’t want to be corrected, somebody who does not like criticism, somebody who will never apologize; when he/she does something wrong, he’ll say yes, but will never apologize, this pattern of behavior will not make for marital bliss.
If there is anyone here including myself that we have this pattern of behavior, they are not Christians, they are not spiritual, it shows that our Christianity has a question mark, it shows that when we say we are believers, we are believers in CTL, we are believers in the church but when we get to the house, we are somebody else, but God wants us to be true, God wants us to be honest. Praise the Lord!
For the newly married: you are newly married, you are in your honeymoon phase, enjoy the honeymoon, but the honeymoon phase leads to periods of adjustments. Like I said last week, sometimes your expectation versus your reality don’t match, what you are expecting is not what you are witnessing; the man or woman that you thought this is how he/she is, that’s not the person you will meet in the house because these days everything is packaged – packaging, so the girl is well packaged, the man is well packaged but the real person will show up in marriage, so your expectation will meet your reality when you enter the marriage, you’ll now say ah, what am I seeing? At that point, you need to manage your expectation and you are also going to be able to adjust and have an intention, yes, this is my reality, how do I make it work? What do I do now?
You are not trapped, somebody is saying that’s a trap, no, that is why we have these biblical principles of how you can attain marital bliss even when those character traits come out in marriage, you need to keep the communication line open. Did you marry a Christian in the first place? Because if you marry a Christian then you can report him to his God, you can report her to her God and say Father, I don’t understand what is going on, you need to speak, you need to touch my husband, you need to touch my wife and there is nothing that prayer cannot achieve, praise the Lord!
For those in middle age, some of us in their 50s and 60s, where are we running to? We have weathered many storms, we have crossed many waters, we have survived many conflicts, we have gone through many things but that does not mean we should take one another for granted, and what I’ve realized is that in the middle age as we are approaching 60, 70, old age, we found that when the grandchildren come, then the mummy will now abandon the daddy in Nigeria, from America to Canada, and the man will be looking for indomie to eat in the night, he will be looking for something to eat, and so you’ll find that some of us abdicate our responsibility, we have not married our children and grandchildren and we abandoned the man, this man that made all the provision, that suffered for everybody is very lonely in his old age, it should not be so, praise the Lord!
Mummies, I beg us, I’m also a grandmother, let us not abandon our husbands in their old age, but one thing is that some of these things are as a result of what has happened over the years; those sons of yours are waiting to take their mother away, they are waiting for opportunity to take her away from you because of all the things that she has gone through but that is not an excuse, the Lord will help us in Jesus name.
As I begin to round up, Ephesians 5: 22 – 23 says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (In our marriage, everything we do, let us do it as unto the Lord). 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body”. It’s talking about husbands, love your wives as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. Christ loved us sacrificially, we are not perfect, that’s why we always ask for mercy – Lord have mercy, show me mercy, because we are not perfect.
So Jesus is saying husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for the church in sacrifice. In other words, that woman is not perfect, you are not perfect but Jesus Christ is a perfect One, praise the Lord!
I have a lot more but I’m going to stop now so that we can pray, let’s rise up as we pray. Let’s say Father, we need you desperately to restore and heal our broken relationships; Father please, I need you (tell the Lord your need this morning); you know where you are in your marriage, you know what is happening in your home, but Jesus Christ is here in His sanctuary this morning to heal our broken relationships.
Say Father, help me to remember my marital vows that I made before You and to go back to them; show me the way forward and grant me peace, You are the Prince of peace, I need peace in my home, I need peace in my marriage. Say Father, grant me peace that passes all understanding in the name of Jesus. in Jesus name we prayed.
The Holy Spirit just ministered something to me that we should pray for our married children; some of us our children are married and they are having problems in their marriages, say Father, in the homes of our children, let there be peace in the name of Jesus. Pray for your children now; singles, pray for yourselves, say Father, let me meet the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh, I will not choose amiss in the name of Jesus. Father, choose for me, make the right choice for me in the name of Jesus. In Jesus mighty name we have prayed.
Say Father, show us how to love and appreciate each other, to forgive, to be humble, to do the right thing. Father, help me to show love again, to show appreciation in the name of Jesus. I choose peace and not conflict in the name of Jesus. in Jesus mighty name we have prayed.
Our Father is the God of yesterday, He’s the God of today and He’s the God of forever; maybe you are here this morning, the reason you have so much bitterness, anger, unforgiveness is because of where you are coming from, you have a past, your parents fought each other to stand still, you lived in an atmosphere of domestic violence; your father and mother, even your siblings, you are not on talking terms, there is so much baggage around you, the only One that can give you peace is the Lord Jesus Christ.
So we are going to pray now, you want Jesus to come into your home and bring everlasting peace, I want you to raise up your hands as I pray for you. You want Jesus Christ to come into your life to heal your past and make sure your resent is secure, I want you to lift up your hands so I’ll pray for you.
You want peace form what has been happening in your past and you want peace in your future, why don’t you come forward, the Prince of peace is in the house this morning, the Prince of peace, the Originator of marriage is here this morning. You have gone through a lot in your life, you are in so much pain in your heart, you are finding it difficult to believe any man, you are finding it difficult to believe any woman, you have been so disappointed by your father, you have been disappointed by your mother; your mother left your father, abandoned you when you were very young, abandoned her children and went away and you have been fending for yourself.
Life has been very difficult for you, life has been very painful for you, you are bleeding inside, you are in pain inside and you are wondering what kind of life is this, you cannot say you have a good family, you have no pedigree, you have nothing to offer; if somebody says I want to marry you now, which house do you want to take that person to? Which home do you want to take that person to?
But you have come to the family of God, you have come to the home of God, you now have new family, the family of God, the home of peace, the family of Jesus, you are now a member of the family of Jesus, your old is gone, your new has come.
Father we say thank You, glory be to Your holy name, I Jesus name we prsayed.
Say Father, I come to You this morning just as I am, You know what has been going on, You know my past, You know my present, have mercy on me, forgive my sin, forgive my past, heal my past. From today, I surrender to You, be my Lord, be my Savior, welcome me into Your family, make me a member of Your family, because in Your family there is peace, there’s joy, there’s celebration on a daily basis.
From today, I surrender to Jesus, be my Lord and Savior, in Jesus name we have prayed.
